Hello, is that God........?

"Hello, is that God?…...oh, is He there at all?…... just need a quick word, shouldn’t take too long...…will He know what it’s regarding?…...it’s quite possible He might do, but I’d rather speak to Him...…who’s calling?…...it’s Mister H…...yes, that’s right…...Brighton…...well Hove actually...…sorry, that’s a bit of a local gag...…Hove is regarded as being a bit more...…yes I agree it’s not really relevant at the moment…...oh you’ll see if He is in for me, thank you very much…...yes I’ll hold…...Hello, God?...…thank you for taking my call, I just wanted a quick word really…...2008 seems to have gone awfully fast and I was just wondering if you could give me the heads up as it were and throw me a quick ‘fyi’ for 2009, kind of let me hit the...…why am I talking like what?…...I heard someone say ‘heads up’ at work…...just sort of means...…being given information early…...‘fyi’ stands for ‘for your information’…...yes I could have just said that in the first place…...sorry…...maybe if people slowed down a bit and stopped talking gibberish, time might not seem to go so fast?...…well you do have a point there I must say…...and what was that?...…stop watching so much what on the television? …...oh, that’s what I thought you said, wasn’t sure if I heard you correctly…...you’re right though, there does seem to be a lot of boll…...I mean, rubbish on there...…yes, I’ve had enough of endless repeats of "Friends" too......also people need to start living properly, rather than just watching telly and whinging that time goes by too quickly?…...could seem a bit harsh…..yes you’re right, I did ask...…heading for the sales on Boxing Day doesn’t count as ‘getting a life’ you say?...…they could close for the whole of Christmas, that’s very true…...supply and demand maybe...…no, I guess it wouldn’t be so bad if they left the decorations up…...Easter eggs on the shelves before New Year’s Eve doesn’t make sense, you’re quite right and I’m not sure why it happens either......just like Christmas cards on sale in October…...it all comes down to making money I guess, but such things do seem to psychologically accelerate the pace somewhat…...from what you say it’s our own fault...…what was that about your Son’s birthday?…...you’d like us to remember it this year…...eating a lot and falling over drunk doesn’t count you say...…fair enough, I’ll see what I can do...…and a Merry Christmas to you too!"

As published in The Kemptown Rag.

It’s not often I watch the television news and feel humbled.....

It’s not often I watch the television news and feel humbled, especially when it comes to politics. Normally when a politician speaks (of pretty much any persuasion) I’m busy reaching for my cynical hat, so I can pull it forcefully over my head, ready to sit with arms folded and poised to call them all liars.

However, with Barack Obama I had a different feeling and, yes, I admit that some of this was because he was black. Firstly, and most importantly, he has intelligence and comes across as a decent bloke, the sort you could have a drink and talk sense with. Secondly, he’s apparently trying to pack up smoking, which means he has flaws just like the rest of us. All this together with the beautiful, successful in her own right wife and well behaved children, you can see how he appealed to people.

Barack Obama is a bit like Bill Clinton, just he’s black and doesn’t have extra-marital shenanigans. Of course it shouldn’t matter what colour anyone is and it’s what this chap can do for America that really counts. However, when I saw old news footage from the 1960s on election night that depicted a country being torn apart by racial segregation, with images of black people being water-cannoned out of the way and treated worse than animals for daring to attempt to take their children to a “whites only” school, the enormity of what the election signified took hold.

While I’m sure there will be some Americans who aren’t happy with the result for reasons of race, after all John McCain did have to back away from a lady, during one of the many televised events where she began her question to him: “Well, the thing is John, the other guy’s a ni**er!”, the fact remains that Obama’s win took place in a country that just forty years ago saw the assassination of Martin Luther King, the civil rights activist. It’s not that long ago and it’s not just stuff in history books that black people, long since dead experienced. Therefore the fact that real and necessary change has taken place, albeit relatively recently, is a big deal.

Yes, Barack Obama is just a guy who will be the next American President who happens to be black, but the fact that American citizens, from all walks of life, elected him in the here and now is absolutely massive.

As published in the December 2008 edition of The Kemptown Rag.