What would Emmiline Pankhurst make of today’s modern woman?

What would Emmiline Pankhurst make of today’s modern woman? On recently hearing a local female radio presenter discussing the top five male celebrities most women would like to sleep with, as though it had life or death importance, I think it's possible that Mrs Pankhurst would be fairly unimpressed.

The conversation was then followed by a break, which included an advert for breast enlargement where various female voiceovers mentioned the advantages of such a procedure. The last voice simpered how she was doing it for herself……and her boyfriend.

Is this really what women’s liberation was all for? Being a bloke, it’s always going to be difficult to see this from the female perspective, but I did find this rather disturbing. My main issue with what I heard, was the fact that as it was broadcast during the morning school run, there must have been quite a few red faced parents with youngsters in the back of the car who wanted to know a bit more about what "sleeping with David Beckham" entails. Call me old fashioned, but couldn’t it have been dressed up just a little and referred to it as "going out" or "having a candlelight meal for two?" instead. Ok, they didn’t say the top five famous blokes most women want to sh*g are ……., but it still seemed a little too blatant, even by 2008 standards. Is there no age at all these days where children can’t be given a slightly more innocent sounding view on things? With the UK having the highest teenage pregnancy statistics in Europe, shouldn’t everyone with any kind of public profile look at the way they discuss such subjects ?

I read a book a while back by Ben Elton called "Blind Faith". It’s a look into the future and is a bit like George Orwell’s "Nineteen Eighty-Four", but with a few more laughs and global warming thrown in. This novel portrays women as sexual objects there for the pleasure of men. Operations for women such as breast enlargement are encouraged, as is the wearing of pretty much nothing at all in public. Although it’s a fictional account of a society that doesn’t exist, there are parts of it that made me think that it could certainly be possible and in some ways we’re not far off it already.

"It's a cab, innit!"

"Look love, how hard is it? All I want is your cheapest cab, innit. I need it for 10am. How much is it?" Perhaps rather predictably, what turned up the next day wasn’t quite what had been imagined. The nineteen year old girl from London, who probably describes herself as a "Saaaaarfffff London it girl", was expecting a taxi to take her to the airport, so she could go on holiday to some chav destination or other. However when she rang directory enquiries and asked for a "Joe Baxi", the operator wasn’t too familiar with the language of the street and didn’t realise that that this was slang for a taxi. Therefore they said that there didn’t appear to be any "Joe Baxi" listed.

"It ain’t a person, it’s a cab, innit." Probably just glad to get the woman off the line and stop the screeching, the representative logically put her through to a shop that sold furniture. Instead of being able to jump into a taxi the next morning, she had to try and scrounge a lift off the delivery driver so that she could make her budget flight in time. The cabinet was sent back for a refund.

When did being this daft become acceptable ? Is it because when we all laugh like drains at Lauren in "The Catherine Tate Show" we don’t have the inclination to do anything more than laugh?

It’s a bit like having a work colleague that’s a bit wiffy. Everybody dances around and doesn’t say anything unless it’s a whispered comment to someone else at the vending machine. Eventually a manager (probably just newly promoted) eventually gets roped into having to deal with it. It’s not going to be nice and it’s not going to be easy, but it’s either that or pretend that nothing is wrong, which means that nothing will change.

How much longer will we put up with such nonsense? Then there is the issue of seeing "your right" rather than "you’re right", "there for" rather than "therefore" and "can not" rather than "cannot" in print to name but a few ? And don’t get me started on "pls" rather than "please" and "thx" rather than "thanks".

Is it just a natural evolving of a changing language or simply a nation that can’t be bothered to maintain any kind of standards anymore ?

As published in the 9th May 2008 edition of The Kemptown Rag.