"Due to lack of interest, tomorrow is cancelled..."

......is a tremendous line from a really great track, however, when I happened to catch the video for the Kaiser Chiefs "Ruby" on TV the other day, I couldn't help but feel their rock star image receive a bit of a dent as far as I was concerned.

The reason why ? Well, the lead singer was playing a TAMBOURINE !!!

I have to say that I was shocked.

I don't want to stereotype, but rock stars either play electric guitars or the drums. If they're the non-instrument playing lead singer, then they have the option of taking a bottle of Jack Daniels and a packet of fags on stage with them. They DO NOT play tambourines, which to me belong in a tuneless school orchestra along with numerous other tambourines and similarly pointless instruments such as triangles.

What a bunch of bankers.....!

Banks are never really going to be that popular I guess, so it comes as no surprise that their favourite customers are those who see a £20 pound note as something to scribble a quick phone message on or blow their nose with.

There always has, and always will be, a gap between the rich and the poor, those who have and those who don't have, those who can afford to eat the best and those who can just about afford to eat ..... and so on.

However, whether we pay for things using a Gold card or one of those Electron/Solo cards that nowhere seems to accept, we still need to use a bank. It also helps to be able to get through their door now and then as grovelling for an overdraft or the refund of a bank charge is always better in person. That way they can tell if the tears are real !

This is all about to change though, as one of the big players on the High Street has banned the poor from one of it's newest branches, while graciously allowing them to use the cash machines outside. To be able to use more than the ATMs, you need savings of at least £50,000 and a mortgage of at least £200,000. If your mortgage is only £100,000 mortgage, they'll give you the time of day as long as your salary is over £75,000. I'll be the one standing in the rain trying to remember my PIN number !

There is also talk of banks introducing a "usage" fee for those whose salary credit is less than £1,000. What this fee is meant to cover I'm not sure, but hitting someone who is trying to get by on around £6.50 an hour with a £15 fee for not having a better job seems to be rubbing their nose in it somewhat.

I think we should go back the days of keeping our "cash stash" under the mattress !

The Apprentice

At last, something worth watching on TV !

I've been looking forward to series three of "The Apprentice " for weeks. It's the deadly combination of one or two candidates with degrees in economics or politics, which makes them think they know everything, together with the silver spoon brigade, the working class heroes, massive egos, the crackle of sexual chemistry and the justification of the most barking mad ideas that were always going to go so terribly wrong that makes it hilarious television. The fact that we're meant to be watching the cream of British business brains and talent at work and that we're actually meant to be impressed by them, make it an absolute hoot.

If you've never watched before, the basics of the series are that "Cockney Sparra", Alan Sugar, is on the look out for someone to mould in his image and pass on the benefit of his business acumen. What we are meant to see that is so great in the man who gave us the Amstrad computer, I'm not too certain, but he's got a few quid in the bank, an army of flunkies, offices in the smartest London postal codes and a business turnover than probably resembles the debt of a third world country, so he must have been doing something right.

Over the next couple of months or so an elite gang of sharp suited go-getters work in two opposing teams on a task set by Mr Sugar (who they all insist on fawning over whenever possible by using his proper title "Sir Alan") and every week someone from the losing team gets the bullet. While the loser gets a cab home, the viewers gets a reminder of their piece to camera filmed before the series began where they said things like "I'm here to win, not to make friends" and how "failure is not an option". I think in hindsight those already reading the "Situations Vacant" pages, probably wished they had been a bit more measured.

However, in all seriousness, if Alan Sugar REALLY wants an apprentice (and I'm not convinced he does, I just think he enjoys being on TV and bossing people about who will tell him he's great at regular intervals), I am sure there are tonnes of people working for well below the average wage who would be a much better bet. They only ever seem to pick corporate nutters with a history of decent salaries. Why don't they ever pick someone who is scraping by on £15k ? I don't believe that they don't get applications from such people.

Having said that, I can't wait for the next helping of craziness.