On the 7th day of Christmas ........

........everyone took their decorations down, put them in a bin bag, had one hell of a p**s up to see out the old year, threw the empty bottles, fag ends and general party mess in another bin bag, got the two mixed up and threw out the decorations and put the rubbish in the loft.

Bit of a shame really to end up one year on to find the carefully stored contents of a New Year lash up rather than fairy lights and tinsel, but that's just the way it goes. What is also a shame is the fact that so many people seem to take everything down before the traditional 12th night. I ventured into a big supermarket yesterday, this is despite having spent more than enough time and money in there less than a week ago, only to find that every single Christmas decoration had been taken down. The only vague remains left of the biggest celebration in the Christian calender were being flogged off for half price.

It wasn't a surprise to me that this had happened, but it was a little depressing none the less as it would be nice to fully enjoy the Christmas and New Year period, before a corporate suit somewhere ends it for us. I guess they need the room for the Easter eggs or something.

Happy new year and all the best for 2007 !!

Happy Christmas !!!

The F Factor

The F Factor.....as in f***ed off

I have always felt more than a little of the “F Factor” when it comes to the programme "The X Factor". Normally it is the fact that the only real winners of the show seem to be the top brass at ITV1, who make a massive amount of money from the sponsorship deals, the voting and the general hype that seems to surround the show that makes me rage. Then there are the judges, Sharon Osbourne, Simon Cowell and Louis Walsh who take home hundreds of thousands of pounds each for a couple of months work. From what I have seen they don't seem to do an awful lot to justify such a huge pay packet particularly when you consider the fairly modest success of previous winners. The first series of "The X Factor" in 2004 saw Steve Brookstein as the winner. Enough said. What the hell happened to him ?

As you can tell, I'm not exactly a fan of this and similar shows that think a successful career in music can be manufactured. What annoyed me more this time around, however, was having to listen to various commentators in the media saying that winning contestant, Leona Lewis, either would or wouldn't win because she is black. Some said that a black female had no hope of winning a TV reality talent show and others said this would increase her chances of success. Those who thought her ethnicity would have a positive influence on the outcome obviously think that those who voted for her did so out of sympathy, assuming no one else would bother, or so they could boast to their friends and work colleagues "I voted for the black girl, aren't I brave!"

Why can't they just allow her to be judged on her performance ? Isn't it possible that she won because she is talented, can sing, is very attractive and has stage presence ? Can't we just say that a pretty young woman from North London won a talent show and we wish her all the best for her future singing career ? We shouldn't belittle her success by saying it was anything to do with the colour of her skin.

Sure, there probably were a few Neanderthals who wouldn't have supported her due to her ethnic origin. Having said that, they probably wouldn't have voted anyway on account of the fact they wouldn't know how to use a phone.

Christmas shopping......grrrrr !!!

Definitely not my most favourite past time I have to say as it's always too crowded and I never seem to have anywhere near enough money or patience to get through it without wishing it was January already.

Having said that, I like to make the effort when it comes to giving gifts, sending cards and generally getting into the spirit of things. Now so much can be done online, there is very little excuse for the disorganised among us. Tearing around on Christmas Eve buying what is left that vaguely resembles a well thought out present is in the past.

Personally, I am one of those people who spend a good couple of months ignoring the fact that the shops are subtly making room for truck loads of selection boxes and tinsel to arrive. This tends to start around September and I stoically plough on through to the end of November without so much as checking the price of a bauble. I guess I tend to hope that generally lacking enthusiasm, Christmas may somehow either not happen at all or at least not until I am ready for it.

This may sound a little "Ebenezer Scrooge", but I'm not against Christmas at all. It's more the fact that Christmas has got even more commercialised since my childhood, when my parents used to say "the problem is with Christmas is that it's too commercialised!" To me, Christmas should be singing carols in a freezing cold church, being with close family and friends, exchanging gifts that won't put anyone into a financial crisis for the first few months of the new year and having a relaxed and well fed time for a couple of days.

These days it doesn't seem possible to find much that resembles what Christmas is supposed to be about. After all, it is meant to be a religious festival but even trying to find a Christmas card that doesn't have a cartoon Father Christmas losing the keys to his Reindeer on the front can prove difficult, or at least it does for me. This lack of religious cards at Christmas has nothing to do with not wanting to upset or offend people of other faiths, it is more the fact that, and this has been backed up by a manager of a large supermarket chain, they simply wouldn't sell - I think that pretty much says it all.

One in ten Brits currently live abroad.....

.....and in many ways who can blame them ?

I know it's very common to think that the grass is greener on the other side and this can often turn out not to be the case, but we sure as hell put up with a lot living in the UK !

When thinking about how much money gets taken out of salaries every month to fund the welfare state, how much it costs to run a car, putting food on the table and generally keeping the wolf from the door the phrase "Proud to be British" does not exactly leap to mind.

Apparently, we're all heading off for Spain or Australia to live instead, so I would guess that the weather would have a lot to do with it, however, it can't be as simple as that surely ? If must take a hell of a lot of time, effort and money to move abroad, so to go through all the paperwork, make all the arrangements, find a job and a place to live, all for a better tan just wouldn't be worth all the work. I don't know enough about the costs of living, the crime rates, job prospects etc elsewhere in the world enough to be able to say what would make someone want to leave the country of their birth forever. I guess, however, there are only a certain amount of times a person can have their car broken into and the police do nothing or watch the news and listen to a self serving Government tell us what a great job they think they're doing or open their pay slip and work out how much better off they would be if they weren't taxed so much, before they wonder what life would be like elsewhere.

Working On Christmas

With Christmas well and truly on the horizon now, I guess it could only have been a matter of time before companies started reminding their staff that Scrooge was alive and kicking and about to do a hatchet job on the festivities.

People having a good time and enjoying themselves at work at Christmas ???

Didn't you get the email ? Christmas is cancelled !

TO: ALL STAFF

There will be no fairy lights of any kind brought in from home this year. We don't want a repeat of last years shenanigans when the MD's computer was inadvertently unplugged to provide a power source to the official flashing Santa. We don't think any important files were lost when this computer suddenly went out of action as it was February before anything was even noticed. We just thought the permanent black screen was just a trendy screen saver.

In place of any decorations you might have been tempted to bring in, we will instead lean a half dead tree against the wall in reception. It will be turned so the good side faces out and a selection of cheap tinsel, baubles and lights thrown over. It will be removed just before close of play on Christmas Eve.

Anyone caught using the internal mail system to send Christmas cards to one another will have the appropriate postage costs deducted from their December salaries.

You will be expected to work a full day on the last working day before Christmas and no one is allowed to leave before 5pm. We'll lock the doors if we have to. This is despite everyone else in the English speaking world sloping off from around lunchtime, after a morning of doing precisely nothing apart from eat sausage rolls and phone relatives abroad.

The rota for listening to the MD's drunken ramblings at the directors' Christmas luncheon has been circulated. It is not possible to trade a days holiday to be removed from this list. Everyone attending the event, without exception, is also expected to help carry him out, preferably before the vomiting stage.

After the festivities, we do not want to hear endless stories of family arguments caused by badly chosen presents and unwelcome relatives as well unruly children for the same reasons. This slows down production for one thing and bores the pants off us for another. Keep it to a simple "Did you have a nice Christmas?", "Yes thanks and yours?" and then get back to your work.

Expect a further email soon about how we won't be doing much for New Year's Eve.